


Bottle

by Laramie



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laramie/pseuds/Laramie
Summary: Thomas keeps finding empty bottles.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LinkWorshiper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinkWorshiper/gifts).



> Dedicated to Link, whose headcanon this is.
> 
> Shamefully unedited.

Thomas finds the first three bottles in a corner of the kitchen yard when he crosses it to examine a newly-flowering plant in a pot. The empty wine bottles are stuffed into the back of the pot, next to the wall and hidden by the leaves unless one gets really close.

Thomas thinks and smokes and concludes that they've not been taken from the Crawley's cellar, and so are unimportant. Perhaps the hallboys had got their hands on a few bottles and had a fun night, full of the joys of spring. Drunken hallboys were greatly frowned upon (and usually meant instant dismissal), but if no one had seen them, Thomas didn't see the harm in it.

* * *

He finds the fourth bottle at the back of a shelf in the pantry when he's searching for a bag of sugar as a rare favour for Mrs Patmore (a bag of sugar which is very definitely _not there_ , no matter what she says). This one is cheap beer and laid on its side as though it is trying to cower out of view. Hallboys? Maybe even Ivy or Daisy - he can't imagine them holing up in here together, though.

* * *

He finds a dozen more bottles in the corner of a field. There are some more wine bottles, but mostly whiskey. They are nestled beneath the hedge. The field is one that he and Jimmy sometimes walk to for an hour's escape on an afternoon off. He has come here alone today because he's feeling particularly overwhelmed by the ever-presence of people at the Abbey - he's a quiet man, by nature, despite spending his early life in a city. His aversion to noise and appreciation of stillness has intensified since the war, so it's a relief to know he can come to this sunny, out-of-the-way spot to spend some time alone - or with his friend. He does succumb to daydreams sometimes, of what he and Jimmy could get up to here clothed only in sunlight and embraced by hedges on two sides, the field sloping down ahead of them. But daydreams never hurt anyone.

The bottles are confusing, because Thomas hasn't drunk up here with Jimmy since last autumn.

* * *

He finds the next bottle in Jimmy's room.

Jimmy has seemed off all day, starting the morning with a headache powder and finishing the evening with a blazing row with Alfred. Mr Carson had stepped in and read them the riot act. Thomas hadn't heard much of it, apart from Jimmy screaming something like: ' _You have no idea what happened!'_ Probably something to do with Ivy.

It doesn't seem worth making up a pretext for knocking on Jimmy's door, though Thomas will surely invent one if anyone else asks. So when Jimmy cracks the door open, Thomas just says: "I wanted to see if you're alright."

There is an ugly expression on Jimmy's face, scowling and unhappy. "Peachy," he says shortly.

They pause, gazes locked in a stand-off, until Thomas says: "Can I come in for a moment?"

Jimmy turns and stumps back into his room, but he leaves the door open. Thomas decides that's the closest to an invitation he's going to get, and follows.

He leaves the door open too.

Jimmy drops into his desk chair. There's a bottle of whiskey on the desk, which he swipes for and takes a gulp. "What d'you _want_ , Thomas?" he mumbles, the words running into each other. He won't look at Thomas - his squinted eyes are wandering over the whiskey bottle that he still grips in one hand. His thumb rubs the rim distractedly.

Something about Jimmy looks so small and _miserable_ , and yet so comfortably practiced in this position, that Thomas says: "Have you been drinking up at the field?"

Slightly unfocused eyes slide to Thomas's face, and away again. He folds his arms defiantly and finally meets Thomas's gaze properly. "Sometimes."

_'I need to borrow some money,' Jimmy had said to Thomas two weeks ago._

_'Why's that? You're not in any trouble, are you?'_

_'Lost some on the 5.25 at Beverley and I need to send my cousin a birthday present.'_

"Alone?" Thomas asks. "In the middle of winter?"

"Yeah." Jimmy brings the bottle to his mouth and takes another gulp of whiskey. Alcohol sloshes in the bottle. Jimmy doesn't grimace as he swallows.

"You could have… asked me along," Thomas says uncertainly, still trying to work out what's going on.

Jimmy shakes his head, frowning.

"Why not?" Thomas watches Jimmy carefully, notices the way his shoulders hunch a little, the way his head bows as though he's a little boy afraid of being told off.

After a long moment, Jimmy murmurs: "Sometimes I need to forget things."

Definitely something Thomas can empathise with. "What kind of things?"

"Things I've seen… I never told you… the war… what happened…"

 _'You have no idea what happened!'_ Thomas remembers.

Jimmy takes another big mouthful of alcohol. "Things I've done…" He draws further into himself. "Who I am."

Thomas doesn't know what to say to that. It would be easier if he could go over, rub Jimmy's back, offer some non-verbal comfort. But he can't. He stands awkwardly on Jimmy's bedroom floor. "And… who are you that you're trying to forget?"

"I know you think a lot of me, Thomas, but if…" He breaks off and lets out a mirthless laugh. His eyes find Thomas's again, and there's a strange clarity in them that makes it hard for Thomas to breathe. "I was going to say if you knew everything, you wouldn't like me any more but I think you probably would." Slowly, Jimmy's face melts into a very small smile.

It's like there's nothing in the world but Jimmy, a single light in his own gloomy bedroom. He alone stands out against the scuffed paintwork of the wall behind, a moment frozen in time, and Thomas is frozen too.

Breaking eye contact, Jimmy suddenly takes a deep breath. "Maybe I'll tell you one day." His hand grips the base of the whiskey bottle and holds it out to Thomas. "Want some?"

Thomas steps forward to take it, concerned that it will slip through Jimmy's fingers. It takes Jimmy a few seconds to let go. Probably because he's drunk.

Thomas sips the whiskey and keeps the bottle, looking down at Jimmy. He wants to say, _'I'll always like you, no matter what you have to tell me,'_ but he thinks Jimmy knows that too.

 


End file.
